In 2020, the choreographer experienced anxiety disorder. Those emotions would emerge from out of nowhere, and consumed her over, and over again. She tried to escape, but the anxiety only latched on and grew with her.
Her counselor once told her, there were two selves inside her. They are the companion of each other, but also the opponent of each other. Every day, she has to face the dogfight between the two selves within herself.
After realizing that she was suffering from anxiety, the choreographer understood that being too fragile or too weak is not the cause of mental illness, and it is just a common disease that anyone can suffer from. However, due to the incomprehension of most people, patients suffering from mental illness, no matter mild or severe, are unable to reveal their true state of mind to others, or even to themselves. But really, they were just sick, and that isn't something to be ashamed of.
"The most painful part was to pretend that I’m fine in front of everyone."
I was trapped, but couldn't speak up.
Creatives & Cast
Choreographer: Tan Pipk Ning
Dancers: Juan,Yi-Chen, Huang Yi Yen
Technical Assistance: Chen-Kai Ling
Tan Pipk Ning
“舞蹈是上帝給我最好的禮物。” 曾發表作品《𥫗夭》、《牽/絆》、《Suka Hati》、《Cloudy Sky》、《我不是我，是被異化的歿》等。
Tan Pipk Ning, Malaysian. Graduated from Tainan University of Technology (major in dance), passionate towards creation, performing arts and Malaysian culture. Growing up in a multi-racial, multi-cultural environment, she has always been full of curiosity and ideas about society and life. Her inspiration comes from cultural reflection, her feelings and reactions towards life, and social issues. She believes that creation is her way to express and shout out to the world.
“Dance is the best present gifted by God.”
Choreography: <Laughsssss>, <The Knot>, <Suka Hati>, <Cloudy Sky>, <I was dead> and others